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"RUNNING WITH SCISSORS"
IF YOU WERE BORN BEFORE
1970, WE WILL CALL YOU A SURVIVOR. CHANCES ARE YOU WERE BORN TO MOTHERS
WHO SMOKED AND DRANK, TOOK ASPIRIN, ATE BLUE CHEESE, AND THE FIRST YEARS
OF YOUR LIFE WERE MORE THAN LIKELY SPENT IN A HAND ME DOWN CRIB SPRUCED
UP WITH COLORFUL LEAD PAINT. WE HAD NO CHILD-PROOF LIDS ON OUR MEDICINE
BOTTLES, NO CHILD-PROOF CABINETS, OUTLETS, OR DOORKNOBS. OUR AUTOMOBILES
HAD NO SEATBELTS OR AIRBAGS. AND RIDING IN THE BACK OF A PICK-UP TRUCK
ON A WARM SUMMER DAY WAS A SPECIAL TREAT. WE DRANK WATER FROM A GARDEN
HOSE AND NOT FROM A BOTTLE. WE SHARED A SOFT DRINK WITH FOUR OF OUR
FRIENDS, ALL FROM ONE BOTTLE AND NO ONE DIED. WE ATE CUPCAKES, BREAD
AND BUTTER, AND DRANK SODA POP WITH SUGAR. BUT WE WEREN’T
OVERWEIGHT BECAUSE WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING. WE’D LEAVE HOME IN
THE MORNING AND PLAY ALL DAY, AS LONG AS WERE BACK WHEN THE STREET
LIGHTS CAME ON. WE’D SPEND HOURS BUILDING OUR GO CARTS OUT OF SCRAPS
FROM THE WOOD PILE AND RIDE DOWN THE HILL ONLY TO FIND OUT WHO FORGOT
THE BRAKE. NO ONE WAS ABLE TO REACH US ALL DAY AND THAT WAS OK. WE
DIDN’T HAVE PLAYSTATIONS, NINTENDOS, X-BOX, AND 99 CHANNELS ON CABLE TV.
NO VIDEO TAPE MOVIES, NO SURROUND SOUND, NO CELL PHONES, AND NO PERSONAL
COMPUTERS. WHAT WE DID HAVE WERE FRIENDS. WE FELL OUT OF TREES, GOT CUT,
BROKE OUR BONES AND TEETH, AND THERE WERE NO LAWSUITS FROM THE
ACCIDENTS. WE MADE UP GAMES WITH STICKS AND TENNIS BALLS AND ATE WORMS
AND, CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, THEY DIDN’T GROW INSIDE YOU. WE PLAYED
BASEBALL IN A VACANT LOT AND HELD LITTLE LEAGUE TRYOUTS WHERE NOT
EVERYONE MADE THE TEAM. AND THOSE WHO DIDN’T, LEARNED HOW TO DEAL WITH
DISAPPOINTMENT. THE IDEA OF A PARENT BAILING US OUT OF TROUBLE WHEN WE
BROKE THE LAW WAS UNHEARD OF BECAUSE OUR PARENTS SIDED WITH THE LAW. WE
CROSSED OUR EYES AND THEY NEVER STUCK. WE SAID THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
WITH “ONE NATION UNDER GOD” AND NEVER THOUGHT TWICE. WE RODE OUR BIKES
TO FAR AWAY PLACES AND NEVER WORE A HELMET. WE CUT OUR HANDS ON METAL
ICE CUBE TRAYS IN THE SUMMER. AND IN THE FALL, BURNING LEAVES IN YOUR
BACKYARD WAS NORMAL. OUR GENERATION HAS PRODUCED SOME OF THE BEST RISK
TAKERS, PROBLEM SOLVERS, AND INVENTORS EVER. SURVIVING ALL OF THAT MAKES
ONE WANT TO RUN WITH SCISSORS.
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